After the Funeral
When the funeral is over, and the burial or interment has taken place all the practical arrangements concerning the funeral will have been done. There may still be detailed financial arrangements to make such as probate as well as deciding which personal effects to keep, or clearing houses. But when these are done and the busyness is over then you are more likely to feel the absence and emptiness due to the loss of your loved one. It is at that point that relatives and friends can think that you need less support, or that you should have ‘got over it’ but it is at this time when you may need more emotional support not less, and the Church is in a position to offer pastoral care, friendship and fellowship which can provide a safe place to grieve. It also offers reassurance based on its belief in the resurrection.
Special gifts to the church in memory of loved ones may be made, please contact the vicar in the first instance. Examples of recent memorial gifts include votive candle stands, a sanctuary light, hymn books, or chandeliers. More distant gifts include the Staplelton Chapel in Darrington, much of the stained glass, as well as bequests and bell restoration.
All Souls Day and All Saints Day
The Church marks key dates in the Christian year when we remember those who have died, and at the beginning of November a service in Darrington Church serves this purpose. We go to remember those we love but see no longer, and to pray for them, and for you. Please speak to the vicar to have the name of your loved one read out at the services, or to find out when they are.
The Sunday Service
We remember the faithful departed in our prayers at a service at the beginning of November, and also throughout the year at the anniversary of your loved-ones death. To arrange for your relative to be entered in the book of remembrance at any Church please contact the Church Wardens.
In Darrington and Wentbridge there are votive candle stands so that people can light a candle and remember those they love. A coin box for 20p pieces pays for new candles. These are usually lit before services and are blown out as the last person departs. Many people find lighting a candle, and being still and quiet for a moment, to be a great comfort to them in their loss.
Many widows and widowers find comfort through attending Church, and having a cup of tea with others at the end of the Church service. They gain strength and courage by being amongst believers and amongst others who have been bereaved.
Faith - offering a new direction in life.
‘Grieving is a natural and important part of coming to terms with and healing this loss and it may continue for several months. If the clergy are asked, they will try to help. One often finds it is those who have suffered a close bereavement themselves, clergy or lay people, who can most easily offer comfort and support to those who mourn. Comfort is also to be found in the promises of Jesus Christ, in the hope of the Resurrection and in the belief that the beloved person is safe in the hands of God.’
The opportunity to chat to the vicar briefly after the service can help provide continuity and give a sense of perspective and progression as you move through various different stages of types of bereavement.
Although the clergy are always willing to talk to you and listen to you about your troubles and your feelings,it is sometimes appropriate to visit your doctor and ask to see a bereavement counsellor. If you wish to speak to the vicar about grief please email or phone, thank you.
The funeral service offers words of comfort from the Bible which reassure us at times of doubt, uncertainty, anxiety or grief. ‘I am the resurrection and the life says the Lord...’
The Church offers special times for the community to mourn together, and opportunities within its regular worship and social life to remember.
It is a tradition in some families, and in some parts of Yorkshire, to attend Church on the second Sunday after the funeral for a memorial service to give thanks for the life of their loved one. I commend this to you as an opportunity to reflect quietly on their life and your memories of them.
We adore you O Christ and we bless you.
Because by your Holy Cross you have redeemed the world.