Ways to remember

There are many events that will evoke memories of the deceased, and depending on the type of relationship we had, the stronger and more frequent these memories can be. Some are personal and obvious such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, the anniversary of the death itself, or occasions when the person’s lack of presence is particularly poignant, such as at Christmas or at other religious celebrations.

Other more unpredictable reminders may be a piece of music, a smell, a colour, a film, a book, a place, another person, and countless other images and things can all be a reminder of a person’s absence. Events such as natural disasters or the death of someone famous can trigger painful memories that then have to be unravelled and dealt with along the way. There is no right way to feel and no time limit on experiencing the feelings. Many people feel guilty if they haven’t thought about a person as often as they assumed they should, or for a long time. We all have to cope in different ways and coping cannot be measured with a simple formula. When grieving it is helpful to find ways of helping yourself to manage. You may need to take time away, or quiet time to reflect and take stock of what’s happened and how you will find ways of adjusting to the loss, both on a practical and emotional level.

Some practical ways to remember a person

Bereaved people’s needs

We adore you O Christ and we bless you.

Because by your Holy Cross you have redeemed the world.